There are many points of our lives where we are overwhelmed by fear. On some cases, we get so paralyzed by fear that it prevents us from living our normal routine. Among all types of fears that we can identify, fear of uncertainty has the most devastating effect.
Fear of uncertainty is our fear of not knowing the outcome. When we meet a potential partner for example, we hesitate to take the initial step to let them know we are interested because we are not sure of the outcome. If however, we are certain that they share the same interest in us, we lose all illusory barrier that prevent us from confessing our feelings to them. This is because in one scenario there is fear of two different consequences; we can get rejected which is painful, or we will get the right response. The latter scenario has only one consequence that is favorable so fear no longer exist there. But sometimes the risk is not as simple as rejection from your beloved. Sometimes, the risk is something greater; safety of our feelings, body, or maybe even our life.
When I first moved out from my parents house, I experienced major depression. My depression didn't come from being homesick since they are not far from where I moved but it's the fear of coming back and living with them. I fear that I will not be able to support myself on my own, that I would run out of sources of income very fast, that without their help, I will not be able to survive, which will force me to move back in with them. I had feared not being able to be sure of my future.
Soon after I realized that not knowing what will happen with my future will be a regular part of my life. If I'm going to live it to the fullest, I should be able to handle situations as simple as this. This means I will never be able to live in the safety and comfort of my parents house forever, but truthfully I would not want to. I realized that life will come with many many challenges and I will always be uncertain of the outcome.So I must be able to live with my fear and just flow with whatever life throws at me.
So here are a few tips to battle the fear of uncertainty:
- "let go": I understand this is quiet a cliché but it is the ultimate solution. Don't hold on to your fear, instead accept that they are there, that you are human and humans do feel fear sometimes.
- Risk is a regular part of life: We always face risk every time we hop into our car, or apply for a job, or ask the person we fancy on a date. These are regular part of living and realize that whether or not you fail to obtain these things should not effect your visions and goals.
- Focus on the possibility not on impossibility: Many of us do not discover our full potential because we tell ourselves we can't do it. There was a point in my life when I almost moved back in with my parents that my imaginations are coming true. But that's the thing until that time I've repeatedly affirmed to myself that I won't make it, so it was coming true. It wasn't until I said to myself I will make it and took actions to making it that I started to believe that I could.
- Don't be afraid to fail: Failure is inevitable. Ideally you will fail many times before you succeed. Failure is life's greatest teacher.
- Trust yourself: The greatest gift you can ever give yourself is to trust yourself. Believe that you chose where you are and you will chose where you want to be. Trust that you are capable of getting through whatever challenges you will face.
- It's just life: Often times we feel threaten by things outside of ourselves. We label things as right or wrong, good or bad. But in reality there is no such thing. There just is. Once you understand this then there is no reason to fear anything. The state of a situation only depends on our perception. Therefore you control your own situation. You have a choice; to live a happy fulfilling life, or to anguish in your own illusions.
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